


What I Need (What She Needs)

by goonandkissthegirl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Flashbacks, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara Danvers Revealed as Supergirl, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, SuperCorp, Supercorp endgame, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 3, had to do something about all that angst, season 3 was really hard on my supercorp loving brains, these bitches are in love like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goonandkissthegirl/pseuds/goonandkissthegirl
Summary: A partial retelling of Season 3 and beyond, largely through Lena's perspective.Lena know's Kara is Supergirl. Amidst the drama that ensues between them, she can't seem to let Kara go from her life. She cares about this woman, and despite everything she's pretty sure Kara still cares about her too.





	What I Need (What She Needs)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I've been working on this beast for a while and am starting to hate it, which is a good indication it's time to let it out into the world. 
> 
> This whole shebang is partially inspired by Katie's eyebrow in the elevator scene and her comments at SDCC. As well as my inability to handle angsty season 3 drama and needing to COPE! 
> 
> So, if you take the time to read this, I really appreciate it.

There it was again. Another slip. The story of how her first kiss ended with a broken nose and an extremely embarrassed Kara. It is a funny story, and Lena’s sure she would have laughed and felt better if she hadn’t heard it months earlier. From Supergirl.

Though it’s not the first time she’s tripped up like this, Lena is starting to feel the sting of it a bit more every time. Because she knows. Of course, she knows. And she understands, too. Well, in part, anyway. She has a few theories as to why. At first, they hardly knew each other. And perhaps even after that, for a while, it was because of her last name. And now…she’s not 100% sure why, but she trusts Kara. And knows there must be a reason Kara doesn’t want her to know. Perhaps even a reason Kara needs her to not know. Everyone needs the people in their lives for different reasons. Maybe Lena is meant to be Kara’s one normal thing.

That, at least for now, is her best theory and the one she’s sticking to. Because anything else just invites too many dark and unwarranted thoughts of mistrust and deceit, rendering everything they are to each other false. And Lena refuses to let herself go down that path. She can’t. Not when Kara is here and looking at her with such tenderness, sharing so much of herself with her. Because Kara, in all her good-natured glory has been trying to help Lena get over her recent break up with James through hours of bad movies, junk food, and now embarrassing stories.

“Lena?” Kara interrupted her inner train of thought. “I lost you there for a minute. You okay?” 

“Sorry,” she responded, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. “I got a little side tracked imagining an even more uncoordinated teenaged version of you,” she teased.

“Hey now come on, that _so_ not cool!” Kara playfully countered. “I was sharing very tragic moments and now you’re making fun?”

“I do apologize, darling,” Lena answered sarcastically, patting Kara’s knee. “You just make it so easy sometimes.”

Kara put her hand on top of Lena’s, gripping it in her lap, a serious tone returning. “I know I just keep goofing around, telling stupid jokes. I’m not always good at knowing how to help people with this kind of stuff. I just—I guess I just wanted to make you laugh. But if you want to talk about it, the serious stuff, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

It’s moments like these, sweet Kara rambles, that Lena clings to. How could someone who didn’t care about her, say all that? Be here for all of this? Break ups and silly drama. Wanting to share the emotional stuff. Kara wouldn’t be here for all that if she was only keeping tabs on her.

“I know. And I so appreciate it. But, I’m going to need a lot more alcohol if I go there,” she admits with a sigh. A part of her knows too, with a little bit of booze freeing up her inhibitions she might be tempted to push the Supergirl line. And she really doesn’t want to ruin their nice evening. “I think I’d rather just binge on the junk we have and enjoy more of your stories, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Kara answers with a soft smile and starts spouting off about the time Alex brought home her first boyfriend for dinner in high school. Although she’s an energetic story teller, she doesn’t let go of Lena’s hand.

 There are times she wants to desperately beg Kara for answers, for understanding, for clarity; but tonight, is not one of them. Tonight, she feels loved and cared for. Tonight, Kara is holding her hand and she doesn’t feel as sad anymore.

 

**XXX**

 

_She’d gotten carried away. It had been a long few days of grueling interrogation from the DEO and Supergirl hadn’t stood up for her once. Ever since the Girl of Steel flew into her secret lab and discovered Reign, she’d had this look—hurt and angry— just glued to Lena. Which was ironic, of course; she’d figured of anyone, Supergirl could understand why she’d been keeping a secret. A secret meant to protect her friend._

_So, a day’s worth of glares from Supergirl and snarky comments about mistrust had left her on edge. And now they’ve found themselves in this strange subconscious state of Sam’s mind and she’d finally snapped._

_“If you’re so concerned with secrets, then why don’t you tell me your name?”_

_“That’s not something someone with the name Luthor should ask someone in my family,” Supergirl replied._

_So yeah, she can admit she’d gotten carried away, she was on edge and for a brief moment didn’t care about crossing that line. But fuck if that response wasn’t crushing. Supergirl said it without batting an eye; like she’d been waiting for a reason to say it._

_She was usually so good at keeping Kara and Supergirl separate in her mind. She’d had to in order keep herself from drowning in fear and doubt. But this was personal. It stung worse than anything she’d ever read about herself in the tabloids. Kara hurt her, something she didn’t ever think was possible._

_Before she could go down that rabbit hole, Alex was calling out for Sam, reminding her of their mission_. _She shook her head, trying to refocus;_ _She couldn’t allow herself to think about all that now. They were here for Sam and she couldn’t let Supergirl’s words affect her._

_\--_

_“No!” She heard Supergirl shout. They’d found Sam, but soon after she was replaced with Reign. Which realistically was a good thing, it meant Sam was in control. But right now, with Reign’s hand wrapped around her throat, it was a little hard to focus on the good in that. Somehow, Supergirl’s words came through, “Let her go! Take me in her place!”_

_Just before losing consciousness (or subconsciousness considering where they were?) they were back to themselves, outside of Sam’s mind. Back to the relative safety from Reign, for the time being, anyway. As she sat up from the chair she’d been unconscious in she couldn’t help to look to the other women who’d been in that strange realm with her. Alex looked annoyed, but Supergirl was looking at her again, her fierce demeanor replaced with a soft look. Her crinkle still present but filled with concern (and she hoped, perhaps regret?) rather than anger._

_Despite the way she’d made her feel, God, Lena could forgive her with that look. A look that told her in an instant Kara still cared for her._

**XXX**

“Evening, Miss Luthor,” Supergirl’s calm voice sounded behind her. “A bit late to still be at the office, don’t you think?”

Lena couldn’t help her smirk as she turned to look at the Girl of Steel, lingering in her balcony doorway. “Late nights are required if you want that new suit ready in time, Supergirl,” she quipped. “You going to stay camped in the doorway all night? Or would you like to come in?”

A sense of relief washed over Supergirl’s face then; a bit of her worry seemingly chipping away every time she and Lena worked their way back to normalcy. The Super slowly tapped down and made her way toward the CEO and her latest schematics splayed out on the desk.   

“You made more changes?” Supergirl noted, stepping closer.

“Just a few tweaks. It’s nearly finished.” Lena’s reply came a little breathless, realizing how close she was to the blonde, how comfortable she seemed in Lena’s space. Lena couldn’t hide the reddening of her cheeks as she watched Kara’s eyes roam her face. The blonde’s fingers twitched a moment before apparently deciding to reach out, tucking a few stray hairs behind Lena’s ear.

The gesture so sweet and intimate, Lena knew the Super would be able to hear her body’s reaction. The sharp uptick in her heart rate seemed to bring Supergirl back to the present. Realization of their proximity crossed her features and she took a respectful step back.

 “Since it’s almost done, how about you call it for tonight then?” Supergirl suggested. “I have full faith that you’ll finish before the parade next week, even with a regular sleep schedule.”

 “Says the girl who probably never rests. I don’t know how you’d find the time, stopping crime 24/7,” Lena easily replied.

 “Trust me, even the Girl of Steel needs sleep sometimes,” Supergirl joked. “Please? Can I take you home?” her demeanor turning sweet, as she shifted awkwardly on her heels.

There it was, another moment she’s let’s her identities blur in front Lena. It really was a wonder Kara still believed she didn’t know. Especially when she’s being so _Kara_ in that damn suit. If Lena wasn’t just as invested in keeping up the act at this point, she would take the opportunity to lecture her friend about keeping her identity safe. And she would definitely point out that the look she was sending Lena’s way right now, so gentle and kind, was a dead giveaway.

Lena managed to swallow the urge down. She’s still not a huge fan of flying, but she knows she’ll be safe in Supergirl’s arms, Kara or not. So, she accepts, even if she can’t control the way her stomach flutters and how her heart skips a beat when she feels strong arms pull her in. She feels a content sigh from Supergirl and it’s another solid reminder for her.

Perhaps it’s silly, but even after three years of friendship she still needs to be reminded. That though her best friend continues to keep her dual identity a secret, she knows again, in this moment, it’s not just about keeping tabs. She knows for some reason Kara cares for her—as both Kara and Supergirl. And it’s enough for Lena, to keep her curiosity at bay a little while longer.

**XXX**

 

_“Hold the elevator, please?!”_

_“Lena!”_

_“Kara? Oh, you’re a sight for sore eyes. I’ve been missing you for weeks!” Despite everything, Lena meant it. Supergirl had been giving her hell over the kryptonite for days, but she had been getting better at separating her from Kara lately. She was desperately trying to avoid the reality that she may be losing her best friend._

_Seeing Kara now, glasses and sweater, a soft, half up-do, Lena clung to her as if she were a lifeline. And feeling Kara’s arms, holding her tightly in return was enough to quell the thought that things were over between them._

_“So, Alex tells me you’ve been helping Supergirl?”_

_Lena almost had to do a double take. Her anger spiking suddenly in reaction._   Was she really going down this road right now? _Lena thought, her eyebrow rising sharply in question._

 _For whatever reason Kara was ready to cross that line. Maybe she wanted to tell Lena off after all? Lena steadied her heart rate, trying to control her anger_. _She needed to decide how much to say in this situation._

_“Well, you know that old adage? I guess it was right, you should never meet your idols.” Lena was trying to be tame, but Kara had started this. She wasn’t going to just tell her all was well, when the blonde very well knew it wasn’t. Someone needed to be honest between the two of them._

_“Oh, yes,” Kara replied, looking despondent. Clearly not the response she was hoping for. “Well, I’m sure whatever happened, she’s very grateful for your help.”_

_Lena watched Kara unable to tame the severe expression. At least Kara had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. She couldn’t even look Lena in the eye. If Kara thought that was an apology, she was sorely wrong. God, all she wanted was to enjoy the presence of her best friend, not rehash the drama they’d been going through with the blonde’s alter ego._

_She couldn’t hold her anger back anymore. “Supergirl went behind my back, Kara. She asked James to spy on me, someone I’ve been dating for months. She tried to turn my loved ones on me. That’s something my mother would do.” She took a seething breath. Kara was looking at her now, anguish written all over her face, but Lena was too deep in her rage at the moment. She couldn’t stop the cutting words from leaving her mouth, even if she didn’t really mean them. “I can never trust her again.”_

_They both turned away at those words. Lena knew the onslaught of tears were near, she assumed for Kara, as well._ Finally _, mercifully, the doors to the elevator opened and Lena rushed out before she said anything else she didn’t mean._

 _She truly hadn’t intended to hurt Kara, but the blonde had to know she had hurt Lena, too. At least it was all out there now. Kara—Supergirl—whatever—at least now she knew what Lena was feeling. Perhaps it would prevent another blow up between them in the future? She really hoped she hadn’t just made things worse. She still cared about Kara. But,_ fuck _, she was angry. Maybe this really was the end for them? She gripped her chest at the thought, feeling a panic rising in her chest._

 _Kara hadn’t followed her to Alex’s apartment. Lena had to admit she was a little grateful for that. They both needed some space after the confrontation_. 

_Right now, she needed to get a grip. She needed to be present for her visit with Ruby. With great effort, she took a few slow breaths. She shook her head, trying to put her panic to the side. She could compartmentalize, she’d have to revisit all that later. She wiped her eyes and knocked on Alex’s door, hoping to cheer up her niece._

 

**XXX**

 

She was surprised, suddenly, to realize that she was having quite a lot of fun. At a grungy bar. She, Lena Luthor, in a trashy, old bar, having a good time with her friends. She had to admit, when Kara had texted her to meet them at this hole in the wall, she wanted to pass on the offer. No matter how much she enjoyed Kara’s presence, the idea of hanging out here had been less than ideal. But, Kara was adamant and had made her point by picking Lena up from work, too.

Though she had been practically dragged out, it was nice with Kara by her side. Most things were pretty great when Kara was involved. _Kara_ was pretty great. _Okay, you need to stop, Luthor._  Lena could feel her thoughts zeroing in on the beautiful blonde…was she already tipsy? By the way she couldn’t take her eyes off of Kara, she suspected she might be a bit beyond just that. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, just as Kara met her gaze across the booth they were all seated at.

Lena felt a foot lightly tap her own under the table. Any hope of the pink leaving her cheeks went out the door when she looked to the woman across from her. “You okay?” Kara asked sincerely. “You need another drink?”

“No!” Lena chuckled in response. “I think I’ve already had plenty tonight. I’m going to have to call an Uber.”

Kara laughed at her, “You’re not even slurring your words yet! Come on, Lena, don’t go yet? Or I’ll give you ride?”

Her eyebrow shot to her hairline. “You and what car? I am _not_ getting on the back of Alex’s bike,” she protested. 

Kara laughed at her again, clearly enjoying Lena’s slightly drunk and overly dramatic antics. Perhaps she had been teasing Lena? “I’m not drinking tonight. But I figured we could just walk? My apartment’s only a few blocks from here.”

Going home with Kara in her current state—a little drunk and a little fuzzy on her feelings—was probably not a good idea. But who was she to turn down an invitation? It was better than going home drunk and alone. Besides, she could control herself. It was just Kara, her best friend. Her beautiful, sweet, loving, _favorite person in the world_ , best friend.

Yeah, who was she kidding? Drunk or not, she was starting to realize when it came to Kara, she was in trouble either way. “Okay, yeah. It would probably be good to walk it off. Whenever you’re ready though,” Lena answered.

“I’m ready!” Kara practically shouted. The blonde was antsy to get out of the booth as she reached for Lena’s hand to pull her out the other side. They said quick goodbyes to the rest of the group as they made their way to the exit.

“Somebody’s ready to be home, huh?” Lena raised her brow at Kara quizzically. “Wasn’t it your idea to go out with everyone tonight?”

Kara let out a sigh as they started walking toward the sidewalk. “Yeah, I did. But I guess I underestimated how much I missed you this week,” Kara said, grabbing Lena’s hand as they crossed the street. “Is it bad I want to hang out just us for a while?”

At Kara’s words and warm hand in her own, Lena couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her features. Though Lena would have never thought it possible, in the time since Reign they had grown even closer. Kara always making extra efforts to find time for them to be together. It meant a lot to the CEO. Perhaps Kara was trying to make up for their rough patch. If so, it was working.

She gave Kara’s hand a squeeze in response, “No, not bad at all.”

Kara flashed Lena her smile in return, the pair walking the rest of the way to Kara’s apartment hand in hand, smiling all the while. 

Upon arriving at the apartment, Kara became jittery and nervous. She was fumbling with the lock and struggling to push the door open. For the life of her, Lena couldn’t understand why she was having so much trouble, but decided to help push the door open anyway until they finally managed to open it and stumble in. 

Kara’s hands were on her hips in a flash, keeping Lena upright and flush against her body. The alcohol was already working its magic on Lena’s lack of footing, but the door jam made her nearly fall over.  If it wasn’t for Kara’s solid frame and quick grip, she would have landed face first into the wood flooring.

Now, rather, she was nearly face first into Kara’s. A heavy tension was growing between them, as Lena glanced down at Kara’s lips.

Kara cleared her throat, drawing Lena’s gaze back up to her own. “So umm…movie or bed?”

Lena righted herself then, starting to pull away from Kara. She was not clear headed right now and knew she couldn’t act on any of her desires. She stepped back fully from Kara, ignoring the urge to hold her tighter.

A sense of exhaustion was rooting itself in her bones. The alcohol was taking effect on top of a long work week. And now, the battle to push down her ever-emerging feelings for her best friend. It was a lot to compartmentalize and the idea of sleep was too good to pass up.

Lena released a heavy sigh, “Bed? I’m sorry. I know you wanted to hang out, but everything is catching up with me... I’m exhausted.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m really tired, too,” Kara said softly, reaching again for Lena’s hand to lead her to the bedroom.

 Kara grabbed Lena’s typical borrowed pj’s, sweat shorts and an old university t-shirt. She gently pushed Lena toward the bathroom to change, while she turned down the sheets.

When Lena returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, Kara was already nestling herself into her designated side of the bed. Lena made her way to the bed, watching as Kara placed her glasses on the bedside table. As Lena crawled under the covers she positioned herself toward Kara. She so rarely got to see the girl without her glasses, she hoped Kara would face her, too.

Kara settled in, turning toward Lena, bright eyes watchful. Without the barrier of glasses, Lena could see everything in Kara’s eyes. The intensity of the color, the galaxies of knowledge they seemed to hold, the hope she carried for the world. Without her glasses, Kara didn’t stand a chance hiding her identity from Lena. There was such an otherworldliness in them, even when Lena wanted to pretend she could still separate Supergirl from Kara, moments like this left no room for disbelief.

The thought made her emotional, as the question of Kara’s truth usually did. She didn’t want to think about that tonight though. Per usual, Kara had been so attentive and kind. She clearly got something out of this friendship, too. Lena didn’t want to doubt Kara’s intentions now. _Not tonight,_ she chanted in her mind, willing the tears to not fall.

Before she could rein it in, Kara’s crinkle appeared. A gentle thumb traced her cheek, wiping the wetness away. “Lena?” Kara asked, worry lacing in her tone.

Lena inhaled sharply, leaning in closer to rest her head against Kara’s collarbone. “I’ve got the spins,” she lied, hoping to cover her emotional lapse.

Kara’s arms wrapped securely around Lena’s waist in response, pulling her even closer. “I’ve got you. I’ll keep you grounded,” Kara whispered into her hair.

Once again, it was enough. Kara was here, keeping her together. She believed Kara’s words this time. As she drifted into unconsciousness, Lena wondered if perhaps she kept Kara grounded in some way, too?

 

**XXX**

 

_“I just don’t want one mistake to ruin our friendship, that’s all.” Supergirl certainly sounded desperate. But Lena wasn’t falling for it. The more she’d thought on the situation, the angrier she’d become; she was sure there was no way their relationship could recover. This woman had betrayed her completely by asking James to break into her labs. This was more than just “one mistake.” Everything Lena thought they were had all been lies._

_Lena turned on Supergirl, folding her arms across her chest. She was done with the bullshit. She was ready to close the door on whatever she thought she and Kara could be. “It won’t.”_

_“Good,” Supergirl tried to cut in, but Lena wasn’t having it. She was seething._

_“We don’t have a friendship, Supergirl.” She knew how deeply her words would cut, but she couldn’t stop. “All this time we’ve been working together, has been about work. We have a mission to complete. And I am not about to let any tension between you and I get in the way of that. Are you?”_

_“Of course not,” was Supergirl’s curt reply. Her eyes were reddening and holding back tears, and dammit if it wasn’t getting to Lena. She had to walk away before she lost her nerve._

_“I—I—I just hope-”_ God, why couldn’t she just drop this? _Lena thought._ _The Girl of Steel was blending her personalities again, with that nervous stutter. “-when we solve this, we can work to rebuild our trust,” she said, trying to sound more confident._

_“Why is it so important to you that we’re friends? I have friends, Supergirl.” Or at least, Lena thought she had, she knew she couldn’t keep pretending with Kara after this. The pain the blonde had caused was too much, even now when she could see how anguished she felt over it all. “Friends that don’t scheme behind my back or lie.”_

_She briefly wondered if Kara would pick up on the call out Lena couldn’t seem to avoid. She couldn’t hide the tremble in her voice as she continued, “Given my family history, they know how painful that would be.”_

_Lena paused, considering her next words. This was it. She and Kara would be done after this. How could she ever trust her again after everything? “They also know that I would never enter into a friendship with anyone who’s already breeched that trust.”_

_“Understood.” Supergirl was barely holding back the tears now. The tremble in her own voice, clear with just a word._

_Lena turned away, hiding her own emotions. She really couldn’t do this now. She couldn’t think about Kara and Supergirl anymore. Sam needed her. Sam had to be her sole focus now._

**XXX**

 

“Hey Sam!” Lena exclaimed, answering the phone. “How is the Italian lifestyle still treating you and Ruby?” It had been a while since she’d heard from Sam. Just hearing her voice brought a sense of peace she didn’t know she needed.

“Hey Lena, we are good! Really amazing, actually,” Sam replied. “You were right, taking some time away was a good decision.”

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call? You’re not planning to come back early, are you? I will personally barricade you from this building, Sam! Don’t test me,” Lena teased.

“Oh, shut up,” Sam countered. “I was just checking in. You’re managing things without me okay?”

“I won’t lie, things are busy. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.” Sam needed recovery time more than anyone. And would probably need to find a solid therapist before coming back to work. And Lena was determined to make sure she didn’t come back before she was ready.

“Somehow, I don’t believe you. You sure you can’t come take a few days to relax with us?” Sam countered.

“Don’t tempt me. You know how much I miss you and Ruby,” Lena sighed. She and Sam had been good friends for a long time. But their friendship, and her bond with Ruby, had grown exponentially in the last year.

“We miss you, too,” Sam said softly. “How are things with you and Kara? She treating you right?”

“Geez, Sam, she’s not my girlfriend,” Lena laughed a bit nervously.

“Please, you two are the most ‘old married couple’ I know,” Sam retorted quickly. “But seriously, you guys are okay? Things seemed tense when I left?”

“Yeah, we’re good, I promise. We were both a little sidetracked before, but she’s been really great through this whole James thing.”

“Wait—'James thing?!’ Did you guys officially break up?” Sam prodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You know why,” Lena argued. “I didn’t want to bother you with minor drama. Besides it was really not a big deal. I think it was harder for him than me, really.”

“Well…still. You don’t have to protect me from things anymore, Lena. I want to be here for you, too.”

“Thanks, Sam. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

“Yeah, you better. Because you’re going to need someone to call when you and Kara finally get together,” Sam taunted her again.

“Oh my god,” Lena groaned. “You are the worst!

She heard Ruby laughing in the background then, something about how she and Kara were her OTP—whatever that stood for, she never actually found out from Kara. Even over the phone she was blushing at their teasing. She was supposed to meet Kara soon for brunch and she would definitely need to pull herself together before then.

“Alright, you two. I think that’s my cue to go,” Lena claimed, finally saying goodbye after having to convince Ruby to let her go.

Lena sighed, hitting the end button. She missed them both so much, but she was content to know that they were safe and happy again. She also couldn’t hide from the embarrassing fact that they could apparently see right through to her true feelings for Kara. Had she been a fool all this time, thinking she could keep that to herself? She hoped it wasn’t as obvious to anyone else.

 

**XXX**

_Supergirl was leaving. She had returned with the rock they needed to separate Sam from Reign and now, it seemed, things were falling back in order. And in acquiring the Harun-el, Supergirl had found a part of her home planet, which she was ready to return to._

_For Lena, this was perfect. Supergirl was leaving and taking with her all the emotional tension they’d been carrying between them while working together. And now that Lena was being offered more contracts with the organization, it would be nice not having to deal with that awkwardness anymore. Supergirl was leaving and Lena could move on with her life._

_She hadn’t thought anymore of it for a few days, until James called her with the news of Kara’s assignment. To her detriment, it seemed, her brain had apparently done just fine keeping the blonde’s personas separated. Suddenly everything clicked into place, because of course Kara was leaving. Supergirl was leaving, and so was Kara._

_Kara who had adamantly ignored all of Lena’s hidden signals during her confrontation with Supergirl. Kara who had been texting her trying to meet up for lunch all week. Kara who had left notes and sweet treats with Jess every time Lena had declined. Kara, who despite her best efforts, Lena wasn’t ready to say goodbye to yet._

_Lena cried herself to sleep that night, in a wine induced, regret filled bout of hysteria. At one point, she thought she’d heard the flap of a cape outside her window and desperately wanted to call out for her friend. But it wasn’t Supergirl she wanted, it was Kara, who she was going to miss desperately._

_She realized that night that she would not let Kara go without a proper goodbye. So, she did what she could, given the circumstances and threw together a last-minute farewell party. It was all she could do to not burst into to tears and beg her friend to stay the entire time._

_But there was nothing more to do about it. She couldn’t keep Kara and Supergirl independent of each other anymore. Not when it meant Kara would be going home, something she’s spent her entire life on Earth dreaming about. There was nothing Lena could say that would be a better argument against that._

_When the time came for Kara to go, Lena held her tight and sent her with all her well wishes. She hoped it would be enough. Enough for Kara to know how much Lena cared for her, would always care for her._

**XXX**

 

Her phone was ringing again, the third call from James in the last 5 minutes. She tried very hard to not interrupt board meetings, but now she was worried there was an emergency. And she would not let another fiscal presentation get in the way of life saving work, if she was needed.

“I’m so sorry, Brian, can we take a short break? I really need to take this call,” her demeanor was kind, despite many believing her to be the rigid and demanding type of CEO. 

“Of course, Ms. Luthor. I think everyone needs a break from the numbers anyway.” Most of the board chuckled in agreement, happy for a short break.

Lena stepped back into her office to answer James’ fourth call. “Yes, James? Is everything alright?”

“Lena?” came James’ deep, concerned voice. “Thank you for picking up. I really need to speak with you. Can we meet up for lunch today?”

“I—is there an emergency, James?” She was confused as to why he would barrage her with phone calls before 11 a.m. just to ask her to lunch.

“Well, no. No emergency. But, Lena, I miss you. And I just need you to hear me out, okay?”

Lena internally groaned. It had been a few weeks since they’d ended things. She’d been okay, but James had taken it pretty hard. The first couple of days he texted and called a lot. But he’d laid off after her lack of response. And since then she’d successfully avoided him.

It wasn’t as though she didn’t want to still be friends. If Kara could do it, she could too. But she needed time. Not to mention, being around him reminded her of why she had broken things off in the first place. She knew her feelings for James paled in comparison to that of Kara; her guilt making it more and more difficult to be with him. 

Because of this, she didn’t give many details as to why she wanted to break up. It’s not like she could tell him she was in love with Kara. But it had left him a little blindsided. She hoped he wasn’t looking for answers out of this meet up.

“I don’t—I don’t think that’s a good idea, James. I’m sorry.”

“Lena, wait!” He sounded desperate. “Please, don’t hang up. There are things you need to know. Things bigger than you and me. Please, Lena. You deserve the truth. 

She sighed loudly, rubbing her hand nervously along the back of her neck. “Alright, where would you like to meet?”

“Noonan’s, 12:30?”

“Okay, see you then,” she conceded.

 __

Lena was nervous walking up to the familiar café.  James had been vague on the phone, but she really hoped he didn’t want to rehash the breakup in public. She was fidgeting with her hands while she seated herself waiting for James to arrive.

Typical that she would arrive first. He was always running late these days. Since he reavealed himself to the public as Guardian, he was more likely to take his act to the daylight hours. What did it say about her that she surrounded herself by so many people with a profound hero complex?

James walked in a few minutes later, rushing to Lena’s table. Something wasn’t right. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. His normally well-tailored and put together look was shabby and wrinkled. He looked exhausted and deeply sad, in a way she’d never seen before.

“Lena, thank you for coming. I—I really miss you,” he spoke slowly and deliberately, despite his almost desperate appearance. “I’ve been sort of a mess without you,” he laughed, gesturing to himself self-deprecatingly.

“James…I’m sorry,” she replied, not knowing what else to say. She was a bit shocked. She’d hoped the conversation wouldn’t come up, but she hadn’t anticipated it to be brought up right off the bat. She certainly hadn’t planned on seeing James the way he looked now.

“Look,” he sighed, “we’ve hardly seen each other. Or spoken. I’m always worried about you. I just—I wish you would talk to me. Tell me what happened between us?" 

“It’s not…you didn’t do anything wrong, James,” Lena began. “There just…wasn’t anything deeper between us, you know?" 

“No,” he said simply, not meeting her eye. She was taken aback by the abruptness of his response. She didn’t know where else to take the topic.

“James…you said you had something to tell me?” She paused, hoping he would remember and pull himself together. “Something not related to our relationship?”

He sat up straighter then, intention brought back to his gaze. His eyes searched Lena’s, looking for what, she couldn’t guess.

“Lena,” he began, “is there anything I could say that would make you want to get back together?” He was three for three at shockingly frank statements this afternoon.

“James, you know I care about you. I told you I thought we were better as friends.” He put his head in his hands and sighed. “James, what is going on? You’re really worrying me.”

He kept his head in his hands as he spoke again, “It’s because of her isn’t it?”

Lena tried to swallow the lump in her throat, at the potential of another person seeing right through her. “Her… who?”

 “Don’t. Don’t act like you don’t know.” His tone remained even, but the agitation and accusation were clear by his expression. “You love her, don’t you? You’re _in_ love with her.” 

“James…what I felt for you was real at the time. But romantically, we just weren’t there.” 

“Lena, you don’t even know what you’re getting yourself into with her,” he said, ignoring her previous statement. “She’s not who you think she is. She’s been lying to you about everything. She’s not just Kara, she’s Su—”

“STOP!” she shouted, eyes closed, and hands help up defensively. “James, you better not finish that fucking sentence if you want to salvage any kind of friendship between us.”

“Oh my god. You already kn—”

“Fucking stop! Please?” she cut him off again desperately. “Think about what you’re doing here. Am I really worth sabotaging your relationship with her, too?” James at least looked ashamed at that.

Lena stood up to leave. She was furious with the man in front of her and needed to get away before she continued to berate him. She stormed out of the restaurant, no longer caring about the secret. She didn’t care if Kara ever told her. It was her secret to share or not. James should have understood that acutely.

And if Kara ever did choose to tell her? It would be huge, monumental. It would be fucking life changing. And James tried to take that moment. From both of them.

She hoped Kara never found out about whatever low James was going through when he came to her today. Kara would be furious and devastated. The last thing Lena wanted was for something else to come between the small group of friends she’d managed to keep.

 

**XXX**

 

_As if from a dream, within a few weeks Kara—Supergirl—was back. And just in time, when Lena was starting to lose hope of any ideas for what was plaguing Sam now._

_It was everything Lena could do to keep her cool the moment she first saw Supergirl across the foyer of the main hub of the DEO. Her heartrate sped up immediately, which drew the superhero’s attention to her just as quickly. Their eyes locked for a moment, Lena giving a short wave and tight smile. Kara returning the gesture with a nod._

_It was later that day Lena realized how much she had already forgiven the woman. She had been in search of Alex, bringing an update on Sam’s condition, when she spotted Alex and Supergirl and another woman clad in the Super’s crest. She hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop, but what she overheard sent waves of joy through her whole being._

_The woman was Supergirl’s mother. Kara’s mother. And she was introducing her to Alex, the sister who had taken her in and loved and protected her. Kara’s mother was alive. It was everything she and Lena had dreamed about when reminiscing on the memories of their birth moms. What they would look like now? What would they do if they ever got to see them again? It wasn’t just a dream for Kara any more. It was reality. And Lena wanted to hug her so closely, then. To congratulate her, and cry with her, and share in the moment they both wished for so frequently._

_But she couldn’t do that. Because it wasn’t Kara before her; it was Supergirl, who Lena wasn’t supposed to know the real identity of. So, she remained stoic and waited for an appropriate moment to interrupt and tell news of Sam._

_When all of this was over, and Sam was safe and healthy again, she hoped she would get the chance to tell the Girl of Steel how happy she is for her._

**XXX**

Lena felt herself nodding off, another long day in the books. Things were starting to get a little smoother, but the catch up on what she’d missed was still ongoing. Another yawn she couldn’t fight off told her that it was time to pack up and head home. Having sent her driver home earlier, she decided to call an Uber and have it waiting for her downstairs.

“Another 20 minutes?” Lena grumbled as she checked the estimated arrival time on her car. When she’d descended from her office it had read only 5 minutes away and now it was claiming quadruple that; she couldn’t believe there’d still be traffic this late.

 _Must be a bad accident._ The thought was followed by a tremendous quake beneath her, swiftly knocking her to the ground. She landed hard on her knees, her bag toppling over and spilling its contents around her. She was scrambling to keep her things from scattering further away, before taking stock of her other surroundings.

While trying to salvage her things and reclaim her balance, Lena pondered the cause of such a massive tremor.  Earthquakes weren’t unheard of on this side of the country. As she stood and looked around, she soon discovered its source was of a much darker nature.

A large foreign ship had crash-landed hard in the water front park square, across the street. The damage was impressive, but even more so was that anything had survived such a crash.  A horde of vicious looking aliens were rapidly emerging from within. Lena couldn’t be certain of their origins, but their forms were humanoid. And their intent seemed anything but peaceful.

As she watched them exit, they’d formed a solid line of combatants seemingly ready for battle. And before she herself could move, they started making their way closer to the city, closer to her building. Lena had been frozen to the spot, eyes glued to the scene, and unable to process anything other than wishing she’d gone home earlier.

As the mob came closer, she finally thought to move. Yelling at passersby to get into her building where she could secure the doors. Not that aliens, or criminals of any sort, ever let a locked glass door stop them. Still, she ushered in who she could and hoped Supergirl and the DEO would get wind of National City’s latest hostile visitors soon.

She managed to lock the doors just as the attackers approached. Unfortunately, they stopped right out front; her fears coming true before her eyes as the aliens pulled out a massive weapon, aiming it at the doors. She shouted for the people within the scatter and to find shelter, as glass shattered all around her. 

She was knocked to the ground for the second time that evening, curling in on herself in an attempt to shield her body. When she looked up her ears were ringing, and her hands and knees were bloody from the exploding glass. She scooted herself back into the wall of the security desk, hoping to reorient.

Two of the aliens approached her with what looked like a radar gun, _some kind of screening device?_ she thought. The next thing she knew she heard a faint “it’s her” and was being hauled up and dragged out by her arms. 

Whoever these people were, they were there for her. Lena cursed her luck. Her reputation was bad enough on Earth; now apparently it was just as bad throughout the galaxy.

Her head was clearing as they continued to drag her across the street and back into the park. She wasn’t back to one hundred percent yet, but she was pretty sure it hadn’t taken this long for someone to, at least, attempt to rescue her anytime she’d been under attack before. She briefly wondered if Guardian or Supergirl, or anyone, was willing to help her anymore.

 Before she had time to let that thought settle, she was plopped in front of the park’s Supergirl statue, the very one she’d commissioned.

“Now what?” she heard.

“Now, we wait for that one to show up,” another alien replied, nodding up to the considerable statue above.

 _Oh shit,_ she thought, _they were using her to bait Supergirl._ And how she had just been lamenting the woman’s lack of presence. She hoped the Girl of Steel could see what was happening and was playing this out more strategically.

“Must we wait for the other? Can’t we just kill this one now?” someone else asked.

“No!” an older looking woman exclaimed. “They are both at fault for what they have done. And they must both suffer consequences worse than death.”

Lena felt her stomach sink. She wracked her brain for the things she and Supergirl had done to affect some other cosmic disruption, coming up with two obvious options. These people were either Daxamites, who’d somehow managed to get around the lead poisoning. Or Kryptonians, after another shot at world killing. Neither made Lena feel particularly confident about the situation.

Just as she was contemplating her odds at a break away, Supergirl landed with a crushing thud in front of her.

Standing at full height and hands on her hips, Supergirl looked a formidable force. Lena was relieved to see her if only for a moment, before remembering this situation was meant to be a trap.

“Supergirl, you have to get out of here! They’re here for you!” Lena pleaded. Kara’s brow creased, as she assessed the situation at hand. Certain faces of the invaders no doubt looking familiar to the blonde.

“She’s right, _Supergirl_. The two of you are responsible for the undoing of our World Killer. And our beloved leader. And you will be held accountable,” the old woman spoke again.

“Why are you doing this?” Kara demanded. “You are betraying Krypton. And everything my mother and the council have worked to build on Argo City.” Kara maintained her powerful composure, but a hint of a plea, of a hope to understand could be heard in her tone.

“Krypton is dead, girl. You, of anyone, know this well,” the old woman, clearly the leader, spat in response. “Argo City is not enough. It won’t sustain forever. The World Killers were our chance to start again. And you, the both of you, destroyed them. Now you will pay for what you have done.”

Angry cries echoed from the warriors around them. They were here for revenge, simple as that. Lena counted the many soldiers filling up the park square. Not a full army like she had initially thought, but enough Kryptonians, no doubt with newly developed powers from the sun, to be too much for Supergirl to take on alone.

As if she’d summoned them herself, Alex suddenly flew in with J’onn in his true form, backed by a large tactical team from the DEO. She heard the familiar rumble of a motorcycle, hopefully helmed by Guardian, approaching in the distance, as well.

The Kryptonian army did not seem phased by the new arrivals, but Lena could see the hint of a smirk on Kara’s lips, the tiniest indication of her confidence. With backup from her team, Kara knew she could handle these wayward Kryptonians.

Kara’s conviction was nearly contagious. Unfortunately, before she had the chance to embrace the same feeling, Kryptonians were firing weapons and flying toward them. Lena could do nothing to defend herself, so she crouched down as low as she could behind the Supergirl statue she had been left at. She knew there was little she could do without a weapon or any kind of technology to manipulate. Her best chance of helping the others was to stay out of the way. 

Kara was everywhere, taking advantage of her knowledge and skill with her powers. She flew with speed and threw punches with a force Lena hadn’t seen the Girl of Steel use before. J’onn’s strength could handle the Kryptonians’, as well, nearly matching Kara in force. Alex and James’ tactical training was a sight to behold as they dodged, fired, and fought with a grace better than most metahumans.

The rest of the DEO team made it so the fight was fairly evenly matched; however, Lena could see that many humans were still no competition for advanced Kryptonian weapons and strength. Despite seeming to have the upper hand, Supergirl and her team still missed the Kryptonian who had made his way toward Lena’s hiding place.

“There you are!” the massive Kryptonian growled, as he grabbed for Lena’s arm. She tried to kick him away, but her strength was useless against him. His hand clasped around her forearm with such force that she felt something instantly snap. She couldn’t help the sharp cry that erupted from her throat at the pain.

 Kara was there instantly, eyes aflame. She was grabbing the man and throwing him as hard as she could into the nearest cement surface so fast, Lena could hardly process the change. She held her forearm close to her chest, looking around frantically for a better place to hide. She couldn’t be a distraction for Supergirl if they had any chance at winning.

Suddenly another Kryptonian woman dropped down in front of her, reaching out for Lena. She barely managed to squirm away from the woman’s grasp as she abruptly turned to run the other way. Tears streamed down her face as she ran as fast as she could out of the park, back toward the downtown area. The pain was excruciating, but she tried to focus on a building ahead. She had to reach it, she had to get help.

Her plans were thwarted yet again, however, as the Kryptonian super-sped up to her, stopping Lena in her tracks. A sob ripped through her as she backed away from the woman; she knew now escaping was hopeless.

“Lena, please stop. I’m going to get you out of here,” the woman spoke steadily. Lena looked up at her, confusion clear in her expression. “Look at me. You’ve seen me at the DEO, Lena. I’m Supergirl’s mother. Please come with me?”

Lena searched the woman’s face, recognition forming. Her eyes fell to the crest on her chest, the same one Supergirl wore. “No, you have to go help. Please, go help your daughter?” Lena practically begged, tears still falling from her eyes. 

“I will. But first, we get you to safety.” Her tone was final, and Lena was starting to feel light headed. She wasn’t going to last if she didn’t let Supergirl’s mom help her. With one last look behind her, she could see the fight was still going full force. Supergirl’s mother was lifting her into an embrace, just as Supergirl paused mid-punch to find Lena. Their eyes locked momentarily, Kara’s panicked expression relaxing slightly at the sight of Lena in her mother’s arms.

As she was rising in the air, she watched Kara return to the fight, knocking an earth-shattering blow into the poor being held in her grasp. And Lena felt herself relax ever so slightly, too, knowing Kara was still in control of the battle raging below.

**XXX**

_“Ms. Luthor?” Supergirl called quietly into the lab Lena had been using as hers at the DEO._

_She hesitated to turn around, not sure she could handle any more emotional turns today. Reign was finally, truly defeated and Sam and Ruby were safe at last. Despite feeling overjoyed for this, and glad that Supergirl was planning to stay on Earth, Lena was emotionally exhausted._

_“Yes, Supergirl?” Lena replied over her shoulder. The Girl of Steel released a deep breath, eventually drawing the CEO’s attention. It seemed she was attempting to psyche herself up for whatever she had to say._

_“Look, I—I know we’ve been through this and I don’t want to beat a dead topic--” Lena snorted at her, the woman couldn’t even figuratively hurt an innocent creature. Supergirl ignored the small outburst and kept her pace. “But, I need you to know how grateful I am for you.”_

_Lena shook her head, beginning to protest, but Supergirl held up her hands, silently pleading. “Go on,” the brunette relented._

_“Thank you. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I just really need to say it, okay?” Lena nodded in assent. “I care about you, Lena. You are an extremely valuable member of society and to our team here. We could not have defeated Reign and saved Sam without you. In fact, half the time I get credit with saving the world, it’s really you behind the scenes doing the work.”_

_Lena rolled her eyes at that, smirking at the woman before her. Supergirl wasn’t wrong, and a small part of her wanted to admit it was nice to hear; but she hoped the woman would get to the point soon._

_“Sorry, I’m rambling,” Supergirl chuckled nervously. “What I mean to say is, I’m so thankful for all that you do. And if we are going to continue to work together, I am going to work so hard to rebuild your trust. I know you don’t want friendship, but it doesn’t mean I wasn’t wrong to treat you the way I did. And I promise I will not stop until I’ve earned it back, even if it takes a lifetime.”_

_Lena grinned at that. No way was the blonde that patient. Still, it was thoughtful of Supergirl to say. And seemed sincere. And who was she trying to kid? She was well on her way to forgiving this woman entirely. She reached out her hand for the blonde to shake. “Okay, Supergirl.”_

_Supergirl’s eyebrows rose in excitement. “Yeah?” she said taking Lena’s hand gently._

_“Yes,” Lena smiled at her now. “And you can start by helping me clean up this lab. And the one back at L-Corp.”_

_Supergirl was practically beaming at this small gesture of good will. “Okay, right. On it, Ms. Luthor!” she saluted. And in a blur of red and blue she was moving heavy objects as fast as she could._

**XXX**

There was a loud, incessant banging in the distance. She couldn’t trace it source, but it was ever present, pulling her from the depths of unconsciousness. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking into the darkness. Her lids were heavy, but the loud noise continued, refusing to let her slip back into the sleep she so desperately craved.

Then she heard a voice, soft and familiar, coming from above her. She opened her eyes again, briefly, a light now turned on in the distance. A set of blurry blue eyes met hers, soft fingers touching her cheek, the voice whispering her name. If only she could keep her eyes open, she could figure out what was happening. Perhaps she should have been worried about how someone had gotten into her room; but the presence was calming, and for some reason, she knew held no threat. She smiled and closed her eyes, the pull of sleep too strong to fight off.

A few hours later, Lena opened her eyes again, a dull ache in her arm tugging her from sleep this time. She blinked into the soft light of the room. Kara was sitting on her bedside, holding her uninjured hand, thumb rubbing softly against her pulse point. “Hey sleepy head,” Kara said softly, a sweet smile resting on her lips.

“Kara!” she gasped, suddenly remembering the events of previous day. She sat straight up, pulling Kara into her embrace. Tears were forming again, as the pair clung to each other. Kara held her with a gentle pressure that Lena never wanted to forget.

Kara pulled back just enough to look Lena in the eyes. “I heard about everything that happened. I—I came as soon as I could,” she spoke soothingly, holding Lena’s head in her hands. Her thumbs gently caressed the brunette’s cheeks, wiping stray tears away. Lena didn’t even care that she was still pretending. Kara was here and safe, which meant only good things—they had defeated the Kryptonians.

“Alex? James?” Lena couldn’t get her thoughts collected well enough to process. She remembered everyone engaged in the fight. Her injury, and subsequent rescue. Being left at the hospital, the x-rays revealing a clean break, and the doctors snapping her bones back in place. Then she was being escorted back home…had Winn picked her up? Everything was blurry after that; the painkillers having kicked in.

“They’re fine. Mostly everyone made it out alright,” Kara explained, crinkle forming slightly. Lena assumed that meant not everyone had been so lucky.

 “Please tell me it’s over?” Lena spoke into Kara’s chest. “I can’t deal with the World Killer business anymore.”

 “I think so. Supergirl’s mom went back to Argo City to investigate further. That’s…that’s what Alex told me anyway.” Lena sighed, relief flooding her, exhaustion making itself known again. “I’m just so glad you’re safe,” Kara sighed, lips softly caressing the brunette’s hairline.

“Kara…” She could barely keep her eyes open suddenly. She clung to Kara’s sweater with her working hand, “I can’t stay awake. Don’t go?”

Kara helped her lie back down on her pillow. The mattress dipped on the other side of her and Kara draped her arm across Lena’s stomach. She felt soft lips on her cheek followed by a soft whisper in her ear, “Not ever. I promise.”

____

Lena blinked grumpily at the rising sun glaring in through the open curtains of her windows. It rudely kept her from sleep, where her dreams had for once, been peaceful. The events of the previous day came back to her as she stared at her arm, protectively cast and itchy as hell. Exhaustion made itself known again, as she thought through the experience. But, the dull throb of her healing bones kept her from simply falling back into her dream state. 

Several minutes of contemplation was enough for Lena to form a plan: find her painkillers, shut the blinds, climb right back into bed to let sleep claim her again. It wasn’t much of a recovery plan, but she wasn’t ready to face the world yet. She could afford one day.

Her first attempt to move was thwarted, a warm arm around her waist holding her in place. That’s when she remembered Kara. Kara was here. Kara had stayed.

“Please, don’t go anywhere yet,” the sleepy blonde mumbled. 

“Kara…” Lena sighed, turning to face her best friend.

“I’m serious,” she said, waking up more fully to look Lena in the eye. “Just stay here with me a little longer?”

Lena couldn’t resist the Kara Pout, even if her own plans had been perfectly aligned. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Kara pulled her closer, resting her lips at Lena’s crown. “Don’t make me go yet? I was so worried yesterday. I just want to hold you close.”

Lena’s heart was racing at the her friend's words and affectionate manner. They’d certainly been growing closer lately, but not quite so openly demonstrative. Lena supposed another brush with death was cause enough for Kara to want to cling to her a bit. She had been so worried for Kara, as well. She certainly wasn’t going to argue against the desire to hold the woman she loved—y _es loved—_ close. She decided after yesterday, she could at least admit the truth of her feelings to herself.

Kara’s warm embrace made her forget the pain in her arm and any other annoyances she’d been perturbed by earlier; for at least a while longer. She let herself drift in and out for the rest of the morning, her forehead resting at the perfect spot to let Kara’s heartbeat lull her.

By noon, Lena’s bladder and Kara’s stomach finally managed to rouse the pair. Kara moved her way around Lena’s kitchen, snacking while deciding what to make for lunch. 

Lena emerged from the bathroom moving swiftly back to Kara, pressing herself against the other woman’s back. “I really need to shower,” she mumbled into Kara’s shirt. “Can you help me wrap this thing up?” she asked, lifting her injured arm in indication. 

Kara turned in response, wrapping her arms around Lena’s frame. “Of course, I’ve got just the thing!” She pressed a soft kiss to the brunette’s forehead before moving toward the loaf of bread she’d seen in the pantry. Dumping the slices onto the counter, she gestured for Lena to put her arm inside the bag.

“I suppose we’re having sandwiches for lunch then?” Lena giggled.

“Yup! Now just show me where we can find some rubber bands and you’ll be all set!”

Lena felt her brow crease in disbelief. “This is seriously the best we can do?” Kara merely shrugged, dragging them towards the office. Lena chuckled at her antics; she supposed she’d have to make do for now. By the time Kara had fit her arm in the makeshift sleeve, Lena had brainstormed several ideas for waterproofing casts to make bathing more functional for the injured. 

The shower had been just what Lena needed to rid herself of the previous day’s shock. She was feeling more like herself again, but she wasn’t ready to abandon her day of rest. Kara wouldn’t have let her, anyway.

They spent much of the day lounging on the couch, watching their favorite movies. She rested against Kara’s chest. Kara kept her arms securely wrapped around her, gently rubbing her thumbs across Lena’s collarbone and upper arms. If she hadn’t mentally prepared herself to just be comforted by Kara today, Lena’s sure she would have combusted by now. As it was, she couldn’t be bothered by whatever deeper meaning might or might not have been intended by Kara’s ministrations.

At least that’s what she had thought. For most of the day, that’s all it had been: innocent cuddles. Now though, the sun setting, a bottle of wine coursing through their veins, Kara’s touches were losing their innocence. The blonde had begun peppering kisses along her shoulders and the back of her neck.

“Kara?” she inhaled sharply, a question in her tone even as she moved to expose more of her neck.

“Is this okay?” Kara asked, pausing before resting her lips on pale skin once again.

Lena moved to meet Kara’s gaze then. She needed to know what was happening here, if Kara knew what she was doing was not strictly friendly. “Yes, but…” eyes searching, she raised her hand, tracing her thumb over Kara’s lips, “I want…” she trailed off.

“Me too,” Kara whispered, moving to rest her forehead against Lena’s. She brushed her nose along the brunette’s, moving slow enough for the other woman to pull away if she wanted to.

 _Finally_ , much to Lena’s content, Kara pressed her lips softly to her own. They lingered in the moment, enjoying the feel of each other pressed intimately, the way Lena had only ever imagined before. In the next breath however, the kiss deepened, Lena allowing Kara to slide her tongue along her own.

Long suppressed feelings ignited their pace, desire for _more_ was all encompassing. Lena was pressing herself fully into Kara’s body; hands were everywhere, reaching for contact, the feel of skin under fingertips, the need for more of each other growing.

Suddenly Kara pulled away, breathing heavily. Her hands held Lena’s face gently, waiting for the brunette to meet her gaze. Lena took another moment to recover, still a bit dazed from their contact.

“Lena, I need to tell you something,” Kara said, resolute. Lena looked her in the eye then. She knew what Kara was going to say. At long last, she would hear the truth. But, something held her back; suddenly she realized…she didn’t want to hear it yet. Not off the heels of an attack. Not out of fear. Kara took a deep breath, “I…I’m—”

“Shhh,” Lena cut her off with a finger pressed to lips. “Not tonight, okay? I don’t need any more confessions tonight.”

Kara searched Lena’s gaze, stunned in the moment. Apparently finding the sincerity Lena hoped she conveyed, Kara eventually smiled in response, pressing another kiss to her lips. “Okay.”

“Yeah, definitely not opposed to continuing with this though,” she gestured between the two of them, smiling brightly.

 “Deal,” Kara laughed, pulling Lena infinitely closer to meet her lips once more.

 _Perhaps_ , Lena thought, _this is what Kara needed from her all along_.

  

**XXX**

_By the time Lena got home, she realized it was the sixth night in a row she’d worked 14 hours. Jess and Eve had finally convinced her to go and she agreed to take tomorrow off. It was Sunday after all. She could take a Sunday._

_Once Sam had recovered, Lena convinced her take Ruby on a long holiday. They needed time together and Sam needed space to recover mentally and emotionally. Lena had no regrets about giving her the time, but it did leave her alone to sort through the shitstorm of work that fell to the wayside since she discovered Reign. Running two companies might not have been her wisest endeavor._

_Of course, her assistants had done a wonderful job holding things together while she’d been detained. But there are certain tasks—meetings and contracts, reviews and the like—that only she or Sam could do. So, it had been a long week trying to catch up on everything._

_As Lena made her way slowly up the steps to her floor (she hadn’t had much time for exercise lately, so stairs would have to do) she stopped suddenly at the sight outside her door._

_Kara was tucked tightly into herself, head bobbing back and forth in a likely less than restful sleep. Lena resumed her pace, approaching her doorway and carefully bending down to shake the woman awake. With a soft hand on Kara’s forearm she whispered, “Kara?” Blue eyes slowly opened to greet her. “What are you doing here so late?”_

_Kara was slow to catch up at first, Lena thought she must be exhausted. “Hey, I was hoping to finally grab some dinner with you,” Kara answered with a yawn._

_“I’ve been working late all week. I was at L-Corp today. I’m surprised you didn’t head there.”_

_“Oh, well…I did. But Jess said you were way too busy to see me. I figured you’d head home eventually, so I decided to wait for you here.”_

_“I’m sorry.” Lena’s words were sincere. She felt bad Kara had been turned away (protective Jess was clearly still in action) and still waited for her. She was also surprised; she was sure Kara had also been extremely busy dealing with the issue of one of Krypton’s council members being the leader of the World Killer plot. And probably spending as much time with her mother as possible. “You should have texted me, I would have left sooner.”_

_“I did. And I tried to call, but I think your phone died. It went straight to voicemail. I almost panicked actually, but then I listened for your—” Kara cut herself off suddenly. “I mean, I called Jess and she assured me you were in your office. And I made her put the phone on speaker, so I could actually hear you were there.”_

_Geez, Kara was hardly trying to hide her identity anymore. “I’m sorry for inconveniencing you so much. You should have gone home and just tried another night.”_

_Kara looked at her shoes, looking nervous suddenly. “Yeah, I know. But I just really needed to see you, and to talk to you.” She looked back up to gauge Lena’s reaction, hoping she’d be welcomed in after that._

_Lena took a breath, “Well, it must be important then. You want to come in and start heating up this food while I change?”_

_At Kara’s signature mega-watt smile, Lena felt her heart stutter just a bit. How did she ever think she could cut this woman out of her life?_

_Within a few minutes of settling into the hotel suite, Lena made herself comfortable on the couch, cozy sweats, wine, and takeout in tow. Kara joined her on the other side of the couch, making herself at home._

_After downing a full glass of wine and half of her noodles, Lena was starting to feel antsy about whatever Kara was going to tell her. She certainly had a theory, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for that yet. The longer Kara sat there eating and not talking, the more anxious Lena felt._

_She set her bowl and glass to side, facing Kara head on, bracing herself for what was to come. “So, what is it that you needed to talk about?”_

_Kara looked nervous again but moved to set her food to the side, as well. She scooted her body a little closer to Lena, gesturing to Lena’s hand, silently asking permission to touch. Lena nodded and turned her palm up to meet Kara’s. The physical reaction they both had to the touch was instantaneous. Both relaxing at the feeling of security the other brought with such a simple motion._

_“First, thank you for letting me come in tonight. I know it’s late and you’re tired.”_

_“Of course, you know you’re always welcome here.” Once again, Lena surprised herself by how much she still meant those words._

_“Secondly, I need to apologize to you. For a lot of things, but mostly for being a bad friend to you, lately. You’ve been through so much the past few months with Sam and Supergirl and that whole mess. And I was just totally absent for all of it.”_

_Lena was having a hard time maintaining eye contact now. Kara’s words were true; she’d hardly seen just Kara in months. And that certainly hadn’t helped her deal with the fallout with Supergirl._

_Kara gave her hand a gentle squeeze and continued, “When I left a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back.” Lena still couldn’t meet her gaze. All this she knew and had been heartbroken over it. “I’d been feeling so lost…and then this opportunity fell into my lap. I thought I could just start over, you know? Alex could finally live her life without having to worry about me. You had James and so many more friends to call family. I thought I could reconnect with my ex. And, I don’t know, I just thought I could find a new place to call home.”_

_Lena was silent but nodded in understanding. If only Kara knew how much she understood. How she could never fault her for wanting to find home in Argo City._

_“The thing is though, home isn’t just about a place, even a place with memories.” Kara looked distant then, trying to decide how much to tell Lena. “I guess I had to learn that the hard way. It’s about the people that make a place feel like home. And I found home here with Eliza and Alex, J’onn and Winn and James, Sam and Ruby, and_ you _.” Lena finally met her gaze at that._

_“This place gave me a home. And a family.” Kara was smiling now, while Lena was losing the battle of holding back her tears._

_“Well, at least it didn’t take you too long to learn that lesson,” Lena teased, eyes welling._

_Kara let out a wet laugh at that. Meeting her gaze again, Kara smiled softly at the woman in front of her. “I guess my point is, I’ve been a worthless friend lately. After everything I went through last year, even when I was terrible, you stuck by me. When it was my turn to be there for you, I failed miserably."_

_Lena chuckled, trying to keep the mood light, “Yeah, I am clearly winning in the Better Friend department.”_

_Tears were streaming down Kara’s cheeks now, too. Her soft smile remained as she moved to gently thumb away the tracks on Lena’s face. “So, what I came here to say to you, Lena Luthor, is that I miss you. So much. And I’m here for you—I will be here for you through everything—if you still want that?"_

_Kara was reciting Lena’s words back to her. The sincerity was clear, matching Lena’s own when she’d said it all those months ago.  There was no way Lena could match Kara’s stoic demeanor from that day. She was already a mess. She launched herself forward into Kara’s arms, holding her best friend as tightly as she possibly could, Kara responding in kind._

_Kara’s apology had been exactly what she’d needed. More important than Supergirl’s, even. Kara would always be her true hero. Against her better judgment and despite what Kara kept from her, she needed this woman in her life. And she’d made it pretty clear that Kara needed her, too._

**XXX**

 

“Alright, I’m in position,” Kara said, pressing the com to alert her sister.

“Good. Lena’s heading in now,” Alex sounded in her ear.

“For the record, I still absolutely hate this plan.”

“I know, Supergirl. But she volunteered, and this is the best lead we’ve had on Cadmus in months,” Alex argued.

“Thank you for that super calming piece of advice. For the fourth time today,” Kara snarked.

Alex started to sigh, annoyed at the Girl of Steel’s attitude. She cut herself off suddenly, “Woah, picking up new heat signatures near her. They just appeared in the middle of the building. We might have some lead barriers to deal with.”

“What? Didn’t we do a screening for that. If she goes in I won’t be able to hear her, Alex!” Kara panicked. “We can’t lose contact, she can’t go in there!” Kara took off in a rush to get closer, training her hearing acutely to Lena’s heartbeat.

“Stand down, Supergirl!” Alex shouted in her ear. She came to a sudden halt, mid-air. Alex’s intensity making her pause to consider the best plan of action.

“If its lead, you won’t be able to break through,” Alex came in again. “And if it’s something else, something synthetic, we have no idea what that could do to you.” Alex could barely hide the strain in her voice. She was practically begging Kara to just _wait_ , until they could make a solid plan.

She could feel the discomfort of her own dissonance building; logically, she knew Alex was right, but the thought of not being able to track Lena while in the heart of Cadmus was not something she could tolerate. The moment Lena’s heartbeat disappeared, Kara threw all logic out the window to hurl herself as fast as possible toward the site.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” she said before removing her com device, Alex’s orders no longer relevant to her own mission. She couldn’t let Lena be alone with Lillian, or anyone from Cadmus. She’d had too many close calls with Lena’s life and the woman had become increasingly important to her. _No_ , letting Lena do this alone--now without any way to know if she was alright—was a mistake. And something Kara would not allow.

She crashed through a window near where she’d last traced Lena to, skidding gracefully across the floor. It was eerily quiet and clear, normally she’d be surrounded by the sounds of Cadmus militia. She searched around hallways and for hidden entryways but came up empty. She was starting to feel frustrated and emotional; she needed to see Lena, or hear her, she was desperate for _something._

“Lena!” she shouted, anxiety clear in her tone. She started to smash into walls and doors, searching for any opening, any clue.

The screeching of an intercom suddenly pulled Kara’s attention. “What is it with your obsession with my daughter, Supergirl?” the cold voice of Lena Luthor sounded through the building’s speakers.

“What do _you_ want with her, Lillian?” she retorted. “Too scared to show yourself this time, huh? No more of Lex’s suits to hide behind?”

“Actually, as I’m sure you can tell Supergirl,” at her pause, Lillian Luthor stepped through a massive frame in the main hall of the floor, catching Supergirl’s baffled expression.  “I’ve found something much better.”

“How did you--?”

“Oh, I have my daughter to thank for this. Her portal technology was ground breaking. And now that my teams have made their improvements, practically untraceable,” Lillian informed.

She was tempted to investigate further—how she had gotten her hands on that tech, where she was getting the materials—but Lena was still her first priority. Kara set her face into something she hoped was intimidating to the woman before her. “What have you done with Lena?”

“Oh, relax. She should be right along in a moment. I’ve gotten what I needed from her,” her wicked grin making Kara’s stomach turn.

Just as she was about to use her speed to make her arrest, two enormous guards jumped through the portal, dragging a bound Lena Luthor along with them. To Kara’s relief she was conscious and yelling a slew of obscenities at the brutes handling her.

“Let her go, Lillian.”

The Luthor matriarch smiled again, that eerie grin that left Kara feeling sick. With a nod to the guards, they pushed the youngest Luthor forward. As Lena fell to her knees, Kara knew this was her opening to get to Lena and get out. She threw herself forward, ready to sweep Lena away as fast as possible.

It only took a moment to gather the CEO in her arms. And it only took a moment for Lillian Luthor to stop her.

“You are stupidly predictable, Supergirl,” came the woman’s cold voice, whispering into her hear from behind. She’d been so consumed by Lena’s safety she hadn’t noticed the effect it had already taken on her—slowing her movements, her reaction time. 

She broke Lena’s terrified gaze to look down, almost confused by what had transpired. Her pain receptors kicked into gear as soon as she processed the sight below her rib cage; a smooth, carefully crafted kryptonite blade stuck out, having been plunged all the way through her now penetrable flesh.

Lillian sank the blade in further before swiftly wrenching it back out. The woman backed away slowly at first, seemingly startled by her own actions. With a shake of her head and a command to the guards, she turned to her daughter before jumping back through the portal, “Sorry, darling.” 

The kryptonite’s poison was coursing through Kara now, the wound making itself known as every movement became excruciating. Still, she had to get Lena out of there, she didn’t care about Cadmus anymore; just saving Lena, one last time. She reached up continuing to untie Lena’s bonds that held her captive. 

As she pulled the last knot free, she fell back on her haunches. Lena launched herself at the hero, slinging an arm over her shoulder to help Kara stand. With Lena’s help she was able to move but felt herself fading quickly.

“Lena,” Kara whispered, reaching up to touch the brunette’s cheek. “I’m so sorry. I let you walk right into a trap.”

“No. No, Supergirl, this isn’t on you. We all agreed to it. Now come on, we’ve got to get you out of here.” Lena’s tone was even, trying her best to remain calm.

Lena carefully checked every corner they came upon, but it seemed the building was empty. Lillian and the rest of her cronies had carefully planned tonight’s events and, with the use of Lena’s own tech, had scattered to the winds again. The CEO swore if she ever saw her mother again, she’d take the woman out herself.

Kara started to slow down as they reached another set of stairs. “Lena, I don’t think I can. I—I need to sit, please?”

“No, come on. We’ve got to get you to Alex, okay?” Lena’s calm demeanor was slipping. “Alex will fix this, I promise. Just keep moving, okay?”

She tried. Truly, she did. But she could feel the kryptonite in every cell of her body, every ounce of her energy drained by its effects. She collapsed to her knees at her next attempted step.

“Kara!” Lena shouted, not realizing her error. “No, no, no. Please, don’t give up. We’re so close.” She was panicking now, no longer trying to hide how desperate she felt the situation becoming. Lena held Kara’s face in her hands, begging her to stand again. “Kara, _please_!”

A twinge of uncertainty fired in the back of Kara’s mind, alerting her to something that she couldn’t quite place. Perhaps something she’d forgotten, something not quite right about this situation she’d found herself in with Lena. The thought left her nearly as quickly as it came, consciousness and clarity leaving her quicker than she’d like.

She reached her hand up, placing it on top of Lena’s which had remained against her own cheek. “I’m so sorry,” she panted, finding it hard to catch her breath now. 

“Please don’t go, Kara. Stay with me?” A steady stream of tears stained her cheeks, as Lena rested their foreheads together.

Kara was gradually aware of increasing commotion around them. Familiar black suits swarmed, followed closely by well-known red hair and soft hands. She looked to Lena again, hoping to get a final glimpse of lovely green eyes.

 

**XXX**

_It was a nice sight, waking up to Kara’s beaming smile. Still dazed and half asleep, she thought it would be even nicer in person. Before the thought registered completely, she realized Kara was calling her and if she didn’t answer, she was going to miss the call._

_“H—hello?” she mumbled, now registering the time._

_“Good morning, sleepyhead! Did you actually sleep in? I’m impressed,” came Kara’s cheery voice through the line._

_“It’s only 8, Kara,” she chuckled. “Isn’t this early for you?”_

_“Normally, yes. But I had some leads I had to chase down this morning,” she laughed, sounding a bit nervous. “I thought for sure you’d already be up and at the office, I wanted to see if you’d want to get some breakfast?”_

_“Surprise, I decided to take a Saturday off, for once,” she joked. “But yeah, breakfast sounds perfect. Meet at Noonan’s?”_

_“Yeah, or wherever sounds good to you!”_

_“You say that like you’re not already heading there.”_

_“You know me too well,” Kara laughed. “Want me to order ahead for you?”_

_“Yes, please. Will you get me a—”_

_“Americano and a veggie omelet?” Kara interrupted._

_“Guess we both know each other too well,” Lena commented, smiling to herself._

_“Nah, no such thing,” Kara assured.  “I’ll see you soon?”_

_“Yeah, give me 20 minutes?”_

_“Can’t wait! Love you!”_

_Lena felt her heart stop. “I—uh—yeah—love you, too,” she stuttered._

_At the beep of the other line ending Lena, held her hand to her chest, waiting for her heart rate to return to normal. Had Kara ever said that before? Obviously, they loved each other, they were best friends. But they’d never really said that to each other._

_Her strong reaction was the most disconcerting. Why had her heart done_ that? _The sudden simultaneous stuttering and booming of her heart, the tightening of her chest, had never happened with James before. It was confusing to say the least._

_Another look to her phone’s clock reminded to get her ass moving if she wanted to make it to breakfast on time. Now was not the time to unpack new emotional developments with her still healing friendship with Kara._

_Still the thought clung to the back of her mind throughout breakfast: had her bond with Kara meant something entirely different all along?_

**XXX**

 

Kara awoke with a start, immediately crying out in pain. It felt as though she was being actively stabbed all over her body, gaping wounds in every major organ, a weight crushing her lungs. She could hardly move, could hardly think about anything but the pain. The screaming wasn’t helping, yet she couldn’t stop; it was the only sort of reaction her body seemed to allow.

A clear thought emerged, _perhaps she was being tortured?_ She couldn’t remember the last thing she’d done, only a sickening pit in her stomach that whatever it was, she’d failed.

Before she could contemplate another string of dark thoughts, a pair of green eyes appeared above her. They held such pain and sadness, but a spark of something else, too. Something that gave Kara hope. She was distantly aware that something new was now coursing through her veins, the pain somewhat eased, and she was slipping away.

____

When she woke again, it was slow. Her body was achy, but she could wiggle her fingers and toes. She could feel the muscles in her body, itching to stretch. Unsure of her surroundings, however, she remained still, focusing her hearing on the voices around her.

“It’s been days, Alex. What if she never wakes up?” Relief flooded her; Winn’s voice she immediately recognized.

“She will. She’s strong. She’ll always come back.” Alex’s faith in her was so unwaveringly beautiful. It was enough to motivate her to want to sit up and calm every one of their worries. Just as she was gearing up to open her eyes, a soft hand slipped inside her own and a voice whispered quietly in her ear.

“I know you’re awake. I know you’re listening. But you should rest a little longer. When you’re really ready, we’ll all still be here.” The words were sealed with press of lips to her temple, a touch so delicate and sweet, Kara could have melted.

 _Lena_. Lena was here, and she was safe. And she would be waiting.

_____

When she felt the pull of consciousness tug at her again, she didn’t resist. The memories of what had happened came back to her, and there was no denying she was going to have to deal with the consequences of what went down.

Like Alex, yelling and lecturing for a solid hour about the importance of protocol, waiting for back up, and if she ever goes rogue again Alex will kill her herself. The last part held a little less bite as Alex hugged so tightly she worried her sister might crush _her_ this time.

J’onn and Eliza are there, too; crying and happy to see her up and healing so well. She hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation, how close of a call this had truly been, however, until Winn came in to visit. He was usually one for unshakeable optimism; there for an excitable retelling of the story she’d wound up in and fist bump of encouragement. But today he was quiet, didn’t try to hide his tears as he gripped her shoulders tenderly.

“I’m just so glad you’re okay,” he smiled, but it was solemn; he looked as though he was trying to memorize her features, like he’d been hit with the reality of how mortal Kara really was, after all. Maybe she was a little shocked by it, too. Two extremely close calls in the last two years were not great odds. 

The reminder of it brought her back to Lena, the one face she’d yet to see today. The sting of that biting more fiercely than she’d ever thought possible. She wanted to see Lena, desperately. Needed her really, more than anyone else. The weight of that sat squarely in her chest. Along with the realization of what Lena knew, and perhaps had known for a long time. Kara sighed, she loved this woman who’d somehow known about her alternate persona combined with the shit they’d been through last year and stuck around anyway.

It was time Kara told her everything, her Super-secret as well as her feelings. Regardless of her existing knowledge and their increased intimacy over the last few weeks, Lena deserved to hear the truth directly from her. 

“Alex?” she looked to her sister, feigning work to be in close proximity. “Where’s Lena? She was here, wasn’t she?”

“I—I’m sorry, Kar.” Alex looked sheepishly away from her gaze. “She had to go back in to deal with a work emergency,” she held up her hands to interrupt Kara’s look of panic, “I sent her with a security detail, relax. Anyway, I promised to call her when you woke up, and in all the excitement I spaced it until a bit ago. She’s on her way now, though. Should be here within the hour.”

At ease with the thought, she began to lie back down on her sun bed. Physically, she was still sore and with minimal powers, emotionally she was exhausted. A little nap before a serious conversation would probably minimize the amount of rambling and stuttering she was wont to do.  “Good. Wake me when she gets here. Like for real.”

Alex chuckled at her sister’s steely expression. “Got it, Supergirl.”

_____

When she awoke next, the room lighting was dimmed. Her senses were coming back, and her hearing picked up a small crew on for the night. When she sat up to look around, she found a sleeping Lena, head bobbing precariously on the sofa in the corner of the room. Alex definitely did not wake her when she’d asked. By the looks of it, Lena had been here a while, waiting for her yet again.

She stood up to walk over to the brunette. The couch wasn’t particularly comfortable but lying down had to be better than the half sleep she was sure to be getting with her head resting in her hand. She gently cradled Lena’s head, trying to ease her down into a lying position. Despite her careful movements, Lena’s eyes peaked open, smiling at the sight of the blonde.

“Hey,” came the sleep muddled voice of the exhausted CEO. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah, but you should go back to sleep,” Kara whispered, stepping away so Lena could spread out on the couch. Before she moved too far, Lena grabbed the loose DEO crewneck Kara had been wearing.

“Don’t go, Kara,” she slurred, still half asleep but grip unwavering.

Kara couldn’t help but smile at the little slip. Despite everything Lena knew, she still trusted her and wanted her near. The couch was definitely not made for two, but who was she to deny anything Lena wanted? She sidled in, their bodies flush. Relief flooded her entire being. A tension she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying left her as she finally relaxed into Lena’s embrace.

______

The morning found them bathed in early sunlight, Kara tracing Lena’s features as she drifted in and out. As more agents arrived and the bustle of the day could be ignored no longer, Lena finally opened her eyes. “Good morning, Supergirl,” she smiled, brushing hair from the blonde’s face.

Her gaze never wavering, Kara responded calmly. “So, you know.”

“Yes,” Lena confirmed.

“And you’ve known for a while.”

It wasn’t a question, but Lena answered again, “Yes.”

“How long?”

“Pretty much since we met,” Lena looked away at that. Saying it out loud, she worried perhaps she’d been the deceptive one all this time.

Kara took a deep breath at that information. She hadn’t been quite as careful about the secret the last few months, had suspected Lena had an idea. She really shouldn’t be surprised Lena’s known all along; the woman had figured out what was going on with Sam almost instantly, before anyone else even. Still she sighed, feeling disappointed in herself. “You never said anything.”

“It was your secret. To tell or to keep.” Lena’s eyes held nothing but honesty, as she continued to caress Kara’s cheek. “I cared about you. And I’ve always been pretty sure you cared about me, too. So, I trusted that was enough.”

Kara leaned forward then, softly pressing their lips together. She hoped it conveyed just how much Lena’s words meant to her. She pulled the woman infinitely closer, letting their kiss continue until they needed air. “You’ve always been enough for me,” she whispered, brushing Lena’s cheek. “I promise to tell you everything." 

“Okay,” Lena smiled, “but maybe later? I think your sister’s been waiting to come in.”

A blush rose to Kara’s cheeks as she rolled off the couch to find Alex cautiously peeking in through the window on the door.

 

**XXX**

_Being around Kara was different. She wasn’t entirely sure how and when and why the shift happened, but Lena wasn’t complaining. Something within her felt more at ease, more at home with Kara than with anyone else in her life. It was a feeling she’d craved since childhood, a hole not even Lex could fill._

_Still, something about how she felt around her best friend didn’t sit well with her. She was pulled toward the woman, constantly held in her orbit. And she knew whatever it was, whatever might or might not come of it, wasn’t fair to James._

_She sighed and cursed herself. James was good and kind. He’d stood by her through all the chaos with Supergirl and Reign. And here she was, ready to throw more complex feelings in an already complicated and still healing relationship._

_After a thorough list of pros and cons and a minor pep talk from Jess (about a friend, of course), Lena was sure of what she needed to do. She wasn’t certain of what her feelings for Kara were yet, nor what they meant for the pair. But she was sure now, after all they’d been through, something about them was…inevitable.  The reality of such a gut feeling was fuzzy and strange. Still, she knew to drag James along would be wrong._

_What she did know for sure, was that what she had with James had been nice. Something she’d needed, even. But they were never meant to be long term. Her feelings for him had never been the kind that foresaw marriage, and children, and old age._

_As she drafted a text asking to talk, she hoped James would understand and be agreeable. And as she gently broke the news, she was increasingly certain she’d done the right thing, her thoughts turning to Kara all the while._

**XXX**

 

“So, I know how selfish this is. And I wish I didn’t care, but are going to tell me why you never told me?”

It was a late Friday night, and Lena was a fair few glasses of wine in. With her inhibitions lowered just enough and the last bit of news recounting the day’s Supergirl events, Lena finally asked the question she’d been holding in.

Kara took a deep breath, pulling Lena closer as they laid together on her cozy couch. She was ready to tell her, of course; but the conversation was still a difficult one, and holding the woman close eased her nerves just a bit.

“I guess, this is going to sound cheesy, but it’s true, okay?” Kara began, hoping Lena would believe her. “I needed you to be me. To be just Kara. For a while I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted to be Supergirl. Someone who saved people. Because… well, to be just Kara is to make mistakes. To be emotional. To be tired. To be weak. And that felt like such betrayal to the legacy I wanted to leave of Krypton.” Lena traced soothing patterns along her arm as she ran her fingers through soft brunette hair and pressed on.

“Sometimes it just feels wrong to have these abilities and not be doing everything I possibly can. But I’m an alien, not a robot. I can’t just ignore the fact that I’m still a person. And I’ve learned trying to lock those things away makes me a bad superhero anyway.”

Lena chuckled, sitting up a bit to look at Kara as she listened.

“Still, a lot of people don’t understand that. They think anything that takes away from Supergirl is wrong. They forget to see the living person wearing the cape. Even with my friends who do know, it changes the way they see me.” She ran a thumb along Lena’s cheek, meeting her gaze. “But, you gave me a reason to be Kara. An excuse to hold on to the human parts of me. You never expected anything from me, except friendship. And I desperately needed that. I still do. But more than that, you deserve the truth.”

Lena pushed herself up to leave a reassuring kiss on Kara’s lips. When they separated, she whispered, “I always said Kara Danvers was my hero.”

The pair were all smiles for another moment, before the conversation turned serious again, Lena’s expression flattening.

“You--you don’t have to answer this, but I feel I have to at least ask,” the brunette uttered, pulling away into a sitting position. “The Kryptonite thing, I know I should have told you. And god, after what happened, I never want to see the stuff again. I understand why you reacted so strongly. But I just…I just don’t understand how you could have said those things to me…That’s the only thing I—I just—Kara, you really hurt me,” she admitted. 

Kara sat up to mirror the brunette. At Lena’s admission she looked down, tears forming. With a deep breath she commenced, “Back during the Daxamite invasion, I teamed up with Lillian. She actually approached me, to work together to get you back. I was so desperate to get to you I barely hid the fact that I was betraying the DEO by working with her. And I don’t regret doing it, I promise you that. But afterward, once you were rescued, your mother said something to me. I should have ignored it, but dammit if Lillian Luthor doesn’t scare the crap out of me,” she sighed.

“Me, too,” Lena murmured, lacing her their fingers.

“She told me that if you ever found out about me, you would hate me. The betrayal would be too much, and there would be no going back.”

“It wouldn’t have been true,” Lena said, moving closer to Kara again. “It still isn’t.” Kara smiled, returning the gesture by wrapping her arm around Lena’s shoulders.

“I wish to Rao I hadn’t let her words get to me. But you know from there, Mon-El left and I sort of lost myself for a while. And then things were going so well just before everything with Reign. After that Christmas night, I don’t think I’d ever felt my mortality quite so acutely. And with the Legion, everything was so high stakes. I couldn’t afford to lose, because if I did the whole future was doomed.

“I’m not proud of this, Lena. I can never fully express the regret of what I put you through, but when I found out about the secret lab and the kryptonite, everything Lillian said came rushing back. Especially that fear. And I thought, Lillian was right. If you found out, you would hate me, and you could kill me if you wanted. And I realized I wouldn’t even try to stop you.” She paused letting the truth of her words settle.

“So, I panicked. And I got angry. And I took my anger for Lillian out on you.”

Lena was silent, absorbing everything that Kara had told her. It was a lot to take in, almost overwhelmingly so. But it also made sense. Kara was Kryptonian, but she was still a person, with faults and who made mistakes. Who occasionally let her emotions get the better of her. Lena understood, and in truth, she’d long forgiven the woman before her. Still, it was nice to hear Kara’s side, to finally know the truth.

She shifted again, leaning into Kara’s space. “I suppose if it led us here, I have no regrets.”

Kara kissed her then, sure and with a little too much force. When she pulled back, the blonde had tears in her eyes, but wore a gentle smile that always made Lena’s heart beat a little faster. “I’ll always regret what I did to you. Especially if we could have been here sooner.”

“But we’re here now, darling.” Lena brushed the tears from her cheeks, pressing close to listen to Kara’s heart.

“Still, took us long enough,” Kara teased and they both laughed, any last bit of tension flitting away.

The thundering of Kara’s heart echoed in Lena’s ears. A heart that beat for _her_. She finally knew what Kara wanted from her. Why she kept her around. What she’d needed from Lena. Then again, like Kara’s alter ego, perhaps a part of Lena had always known this, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for getting though this! You're great and I love you! If you feel so inclined, let me know what you think! <3


End file.
